Feb 26 2009
sometimes…
Archive for the 'count your blessings' Category
Jan 08 2009
If the Sky…
If the sky were
always blue
we would never know
the cleansing
of the rain
If the sun always
shone
we would never
know the moon
or the stars
If my heart had
never broken
you would not
have come
to mend it
Jun 16 2007
Dear Dad
Dear Dad,
You’ve been gone a long time now. I still miss you. Obviously. We were the best of friends. Two peas in a pod. I was the chip off the old block. Much to Mom’s dismay. But maybe she didn’t really mind that much. Maybe secretly it made her proud that I loved you so. Maybe it assured her that I would grow up to be my own self - my own me.
So many things remind me of you. The early morning smell of coffee, deep and rich. Eyes, the color of the sky, backlit with sunshine. Strong, competent hands that know how to make things and fix things and hold onto things. A wink, a nod, that twinkle that says, “I understand.”
My memories aren’t the story or the words but the things that held me captive. That goofy grin of yours that I stole and made my own. Your proud exclamation that you were a hillbilly. The crook I snuggled into when I was tired or scared. The sips of beer I got for being ‘your girl.’ The collection of bows and arrows and rifles that hung on your wall. CB radios and old cars. Cowboy art and solving puzzles. You ground steel for a living but sowed seeds of curiosity in your kids. Your wisdom. Your kindness. Your papa-bear gruffness that could never hide your heart. All now, part of my heart, my being.
I just want to say, thanks - for always being there -for being my dad, my cowboy, my friend. For never giving up on me.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
All my love,
Sarah
May 26 2007
Vive la Conversation
My friend Evyl has posed a few interesting questions for me to answer. I thought I would share them here:
1. What is the most beautiful sight that you have ever seen?
This was a difficult question to answer because I don’t know if I could choose just one. And while there are many beautiful things I have seen in my life, the most beautiful are: The sun rising over the New Mexico desert as we headed to California. It was quite early and I was asleep in the car while my husband drove. He woke me quite suddenly because he needed to share the moment with me and I’m glad he did. Slices of light that gleamed orange, yellow, red and indigo, exotic cactus like hands pointing toward the sky as if to herald the new day, a kaleidoscope of nature. Breath taking.
Sealife in miniature, in a cove at Laguna Beach. Being from the Midwest, I’d never been to an ocean. The beach was white as snow, the water slate blue, tiny sea creatures caught in whirling pools, starfish, coral and what looked like flowers - we watched for hours, like children in our admiration and fascination.
The first time I ever went to San Francisco (by car). Northern California is a beautiful region, rolling hills, crisp blue skies, the seashore - the air is cold and feels wonderful blowing through your hair. We crested a hill just before we made our descent into the city - it was awe-inspiring, like a Disney creation. A perfect, beautiful city that seemed to have been plunked down for our enjoyment.
My sister in her wedding gown. She took my breath away. She has always been a beautiful woman but she was at that moment, the most beautiful woman in the world.
My mother’s hands. They are graceful, milky white, with long tapered fingers and perfect nails. When I was a child, I loved to stare at my mother’s hands and wished that I would have her hands when I grew up.
My father’s blue eyes. The color of the morning sky on a cloudless day. Startling and open. Kind and wise. They told you of his soul.
One spring morning, I rose early for no particular reason. It was cool and quiet. I went to the kitchen and brewed a pot of coffee, wrapping my robe tightly around me to ward off the chill. I don’t know why but I looked out the window and I saw what you could call an Irish Misty morning. A vaporous mist played and danced over everything, the trees, the hills and made my yard into magical forest where leprechauns and faeries played and laughed. I think I stood at that window for an hour just to stay in that world as long as I could.
2. How’s the garden going and what is your favorite plant in your garden?
The garden is doing wonderfully. I planted in March and it wasnt’ long before the plants started to flower. I have wildflowers, cucumbers, yellow squash, onions, radishes, lettuce, four varieties of tomatoes, herbs, turnips and bell peppers. The birds and the insects have respected the garden, and have thankfully, left most of it intact. Amazing really when you think of it, I use no chemicals or pesticides, only organic fertilizers. My favorite plant is the bean plant that sprouted out of nowhere. Last year I planted beans but decided to forego this year. However, somehow a seed managed to travel to the other side of the yard and take root. Just two weeks ago I noticed it growing a few feet away from the garden proper, its broad glossy leaves gleamed in the sun, with the tiny white flowers that promise edibles in the future. I’ve no idea how it did that but I can look forward to string beans this summer.
3. Why ask why?
Of all the questions there are, why is the best question to ask. We learn from this question, we expand our knowledge and viewpoints. We gain understanding of our fellows and it is the door which opens onto the universe.
4. What written work are you most proud of and why?
Sad Songs. Because it is a tribute to my brother and reflects what I would have wished for him at the end of his short life. The opportunity to have said, “I love you” and “goodbye.” The story is dedicated to his daughter and son, who did not get to say goodbye and I love you.
5. Now come on tell the truth, what would I find surprising in your pantie drawer?
This question was interesting because I had to look in the drawer to see if anything would surprise you. In fact, there was something that surprised me: a black…leather…wallet.
So, there you have it, probably more than you wanted to know about me. Evyl, thank you for posing the questions. I enjoyed our interview, it was fun.
Love,
Sarah
May 09 2007
The Magic House
It stood on a hill and on full moon nights, it radiated a blue light that gave it wings. From my window I watched it, readying myself for its ethereal flight to its home in the heavens but it hid its journey from me - casting its spell, it sent me to my dreams.
It sighed with the night breeze and laughed with the rain. It was my inspiration, my touchstone to flights of fancy and impossible stories. I told it my secrets and it saved them, never revealing to another soul their hiding place. It fed my eyes and soothed my spirit. My portal to sanity and safety.
My first sight of the day, my last sight of the night - my rock of persistence and continuity. My heart held fast and loved its shutters and windows, shingles and doors, shadows and light. My Magic House of childhood dreams.
copyright 2007
May 08 2007
Awe
Roses are red awe
in my grandfather’s garden
I reach out and touch.
copyright 2007
(in response to a tag from kim)
Apr 14 2007
Wonderful News!
I wanted to bring you some wonderful news. For those of you who know (and love) Jennifer - Winterland - there is an update.
Jennifer posted it on her blog here - so I will let you tell her in her own words.
Jennifer, I am so very happy about the news. It seems our prayers have been answered.
Much love,
Sarah
