May 12 2007
My mother never
told her heart to me
told her dreams to me
told her joy to me
told her tears to me.
But
I knew them just the same.
I knew her just the same.
I loved her for
all the things she never said
but felt.
She gave me
my life
my eyes
my skin
my hands and
my temper.
She gave me
my restless mind
and the challenge
to put words to her
and All
she didn’t say.
copyright 2007
(happy mother’s day, mom. love, me)
Apr 14 2007
I wanted to bring you some wonderful news. For those of you who know (and love) Jennifer - Winterland - there is an update.
Jennifer posted it on her blog here - so I will let you tell her in her own words.
Jennifer, I am so very happy about the news. It seems our prayers have been answered.
Much love,
Sarah
Mar 05 2007
Baby boy grasping
With tiny fingers fiercely
Hope springs eternal
copyright 2007
we’re trying to keep the angels busy in sean’s behalf, jennifer.
love,
sarah
Feb 28 2007
Hi Everyone, I know many of you know Jennifer of Welcome to my Shoe and the difficulty she has gone through during her pregnancy. She recently sent me an update and I wanted to pass it along to you. I’ll just let Jennifer tell you in her own words, below:
Birth Announcement
I am aware that many of you already know the news, so please be patient with this first mass mailing. 
For those of you that haven’t heard, I apologize that it is so late, but I know you all love us and will make allowances.
Sean Ezekiel Winter officially arrived in this world on February 20, 2007 at 5:31 pm. He was a little ahead of schedule, but thanks to all his gaurdian angels, he is so far doing well and staying stable. The Doctors saw that he was in distress during his regular U/S in Edmonton and an emergency c-section was immediently ordered. I am healing well, and thanks to the incredible timing, Sean is with us today.
Thank you all for your prayers, concern, support and well wishes. We will do our best to keep you informed of his and our progess. My time has run out, so i will try to send more information another day.
Hugs and love to all,
Jennifer
All About Sean
As promised, a little more information, including some quick background for those who need to be brought up to speed.
Sean has been one surprise after another. First of all the pregnancy itself was not planned, and it was a much different one for me than all the others. Then, at 21 weeks pregnant, a heart abnormality was detected during a regular ultrasound. After the specialists in Edmonton checked on it, we were told that it was quite rare and very severe. In fact, he is a first for the ped. cardiologists here in Edmonton. We were originally told that he would not survive the pregnancy, and our research confirmed this. We also found out that while some babies have survied this condition, none have been near as severe as Sean.
But then Sean has angels working overtime, I’m convinced of it. Not only did he survive longer in-utero than he was expected to, the timing of his delivery and his condition since confirms it. If our appointments in Edmonton had been a few days earlier, it is unlikely that any problems would have been seen as they were quite subtle. The c-section was ordered not because they were absolutely sure there was a problem, but because they thought it was “likely” and he was close enough to term to risk it. A day later, and he probably would not have survived. Even without the stress of labour, there was meconium in the fluids, attesting to just how stressed he really was.
It took the transport team between an hour and a half to an hour and forty-five minutes to stabilize him enough transport to the U of A hospital. I was able to see and touch his head for a few minutes before they took him away. I was released from the Royal Alex three days later, but I would get day passes from my Dr and Gavin would take me to the NICU in a wheel chair to see my baby. I got to hold him for the first time when he was two days old, and Gavin held him two more days later. We have held him some since as well, but as it takes three nurses to move him from bed to arms and then back again, it is a real treat each and every time.
Sean is very stable right now, and we are waiting for some changes to take place in the heart and lungs before any big decisions are made. The mantra at the NICU seems to be “wait and see” as it is common theme heard when talking with other parents.
As I mentioned earlier, Sean has been full of surprises every step of the way, and I can only hope that they keep being good ones. The Dr’s all agree that he is doing better than they ever expected. They are all very pleased.
oh and me? I’m sore and I would never, ever, ever choose a section over natural labour! However, the drugs are good and I’m doing well. Holding Sean and having him with us is the best therapy in the world.
Again, thankyou all for your prayers, thoughts and love
Blessings to you,
Jennifer
If I hear more information, I will pass it along. If anyone wants to email me privately about this, feel free. My contact email is on my About Me page. I am encouraged that the Angels are helping out Sean and Jennifer now - and hope they continue to do so. As I am sure you are.
Sarah
Feb 12 2007
Zoe spreads her wings
Precocious notions are hers
to sprinkle freely.
copyright 2007
(a special gift to kelly, maureen & of course, zoe. sarah)
Dec 22 2006
(My friend Jennifer of Welcome to My Shoe has written a true Christmas story and I wanted to share it with you. Sarah)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! FELIZ NAVIDAD!!! SEASONS GREETINGS!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! I hope you are all planning as great a Christmas season as I am!
You know, I’ve been rather quiet this Christmas. I haven’t been a grinch by any means, but I haven’t been in your face merry either! Just quiet, preoccupied, if you may. However, with one stroke of chance, that has all changed.
Why? Good question! I was hoping you would ask!
If you have explored my blog in the last two months, you might know a bit about me and my family. I’m a wife and a strongly devoted mother to four beautiful children. I’m also pregnant once again with my fifth. This pregnancy however, is different. Our baby has been diagnosed with an extremely serious heart condition and has very little chance of survival. You can read more about what we are dealing with here and here.
So with all this on our plates, I must admit that some things have taken a back seat. My son’s birthday in mid-December for instance. While he did enjoy himself and, I don’t think, felt second place, it really wasn’t the huge bash I would have liked it to be. It is only three days left to Christmas and I still have gifts to buy for my kids. My Christmas cards are sitting on my table, still waiting to be mailed. Understandable? Perhaps. Not even totally unlike me. The biggest difference has been in how I feel about it all. For the first time ever, I have truly felt as though it wouldn‘t really matter if these things were done or not.
Then, completely unexpectedly, I received one of those unwrapped gifts that my title alluded to.
Before I go on though, I have to ask you. Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that there really are no chance encounters and that everything happens for a reason? I do. Since I first found out about our baby, I have been able to feel the loving presence around us, looking out for us, and protecting this family. I can look back and see things that happened months before I was even pregnant, getting us ready to deal with this situation. Now, I know I must have turned someone off with this little spill, but please continue to hear me out. I may just make a believer out of you yet. It is Christmas after all!
Earlier this week, I had one of the very few ‘regular’ Dr appointments I’ve had in recent months. Just a routine pre-natal check-up with my regular Dr. Very nice. Afterwards, I needed some blood work done, so I was in the waiting area, hoping the lab would call me soon as I was already late for meeting my sister for the afternoon. Besides, I was really hoping to be able to crash on her couch for a couple of hours!
I waited. And waited and waited. 15 minutes ticked by. I saw the lab assistant come out and go back with some papers. Good I thought! She’ll call me soon. More time went by. The lab tech came out again, this time coming back with a coffee and a cookie. I fidgeted. I turned my attention back to the family that had been entertaining the entire room full of people for the past half hour.
It was a father with three of his children. A 14m old boy, a real little terror (I say that affectionately!) whose favorite game was I’ll-run-you-chase, and his much older brother and sister who were all too happy to comply. The father was very much into the game as well and the time didn’t go by quite so slowly with them in the room. I found out later that the mother was seeing the Dr, as she is just days away from delivering their sixth child. By the time the lab tech had disappeared back into her room with her coffee and cookie, the toddler was getting rather cranky at not being able to find Mom. The father finally plopped him on his knee and wouldn’t let him run around anymore, which really upset the poor little tyke even more.
“Let me take him, I’ll watch him,” implored his daughter.
Yes, let her take him I thought, anything to sooth an upset little one. “No,” said the father. “He needs to learn to sit still sometimes too. What is going to happen after his surgery when he has a tube sticking out of his chest and he’s not allowed to run around?” Excuses, excuses I thought.
That’s when it happened. I actually spoke up and stuck my nose into someone else’s business between them and their child. Open mouth and out flows words. My Mom always did tell me that I had to start putting my brain into gear before my mouth into motion. Sometimes it is good to ignore our Mom’s, but don’t ever tell my children I said that!
“Oh he wouldn’t feel like running around after that!” I said.
“Oh you would be surprised,” he replied. “These little kids are hard to keep down. They can have open heart surgery and be ready to go home five days later.”
Well, I couldn’t help myself again. Could you have? I asked for the story and he was more than happy to share it with me and the rest of the room. Turns out his little rambunctious toddler, that fat, chubby little cherub with the quick giggle and faster feet, is one of five children in the world. He was born with a heart condition that makes our baby look like no big deal. I was in complete awe as he told the tale and my unbelieving eyes took in the now freed toddler running and around and wreaking havoc with the magazines he managed to snatch despite his sister and brother’s attempts to corral him.
Again I say, there are no such things as chance encounters. The beautifully pregnant mom came out just as he was giving me his business card with instructions to call and ask them anything we needed to know. Pictures too, if we wanted. Timing, timing, timing. Timing is everything.
My blood work? The lab requisition form had been misplaced. Would you believe it was found and I was out of there about five minutes after they left? I know that I was meant to hear that story and we would all have been sitting there until I did!
I soared for the rest of the day, the day after that, and the next day too. I’m still soaring and I will continue to do so. The realities of our baby’s situation has not changed, but I have. I now truly believe. The joy is fully and firmly in my heart once again, and it is hope that fills my sails. I’ve heard other miracle stories, but to see that perfect little child running all over the place, keeping everyone on their toes, made all the difference.
It was the best Christmas gift I could have ever received.
Jennifer
Nov 11 2006
( for a friend who is hurting - and for whom I wish I could do much more. sarah )
Dear Mommy,
please don’t cry
I feel that teardrop
in your eye.
My time with you
may be small
but my heart’s love
gives you all.
In your garden
I will not play
but forever
I will stay
With your spirit
with your love
as your secret
cooing dove.
Hold me close
as I hold you
know that we are
ever two.
Never goodbye
never farewell
for in your soul
I’ll always dwell.
copyright 2006
The virtue of books is to be readable.
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